I’d propose that numerous people have been seduced by things that masquerade as love but are just cheap imitations of the real thing. In fact, I have a growing concern that many within the Church associate God’s love with a version that looks noble on the outside but leads people into deep vortexes of emptiness and bondage.
Read MoreHere’s the thing: Jesus doesn’t say that “life abundantly” starts when we get married….he says it starts when we enter relationship with Him. For the believer in Christ, life abundantly is happening right here, right now, in this very moment – no matter what your relationship status.
Read MoreBasically, we realized that the box of relational tools we’d been handed by our parents and families was a box of broken tools. We were both the recipients of a legacy of multiple broken marriages and family breakdown.
Read MoreBefore you’re married it’s easy to see marriage as the grande finale. It’s the thing we dream of and live for. It’s the force propelling us forward into this destination we call life. And then it finally comes! Now what?
Read MoreFor many partners, finding out their significant other has secretly watched porn can feel just they discovered they’ve been cheated on. For some other partners, they may feel upset but not betrayed. And still, for others, they may not be bothered at all by their partner’s porn habit.
Read MoreAs stress happens in your brain, it will turn off the relational part of your brain and send it into problem-solving mode. You and your husband may have different ways of solving the problem but because your brain has “turned off” the relational mode, it’s difficult to appreciate his strategy. You both just want the problem to stop! Whatever the challenge, remember that relational problems need relational solutions. Wait, pray, and talk through things once you are in a good emotional state and can see your husband as a resource and a teammate.
Read MoreWhen someone is happily married, society has taught us to just give it time. Someone will fall out of love. Someone will screw up. Someone will decide marriage no longer suits them. Just give it time. And when we meet a couple who has been married for quite some time and they are still happily in love, we treat them like an anomaly- a unicorn of romance that must be documented and studied closely. This is the world we live in.
Read MoreThere are many reasons why people really aren’t ready to commit to covenant. Perhaps you are immature, or started late in the game of growing in personal responsibility?In this situation, the best thing you can do is to ready yourself: discover who you are in God, learn responsibility, get a mentor, and find someone who can help you prepare for the responsibility and joy of marriage.
Read MoreThe reality is, at some point in our marriage we may find ourselves "noticing someone other than our spouse". First, let me say... there is NO SHAME. Just because you noticed an attractive human being does not make you unfaithful or "unhappily married". God created some seriously beautiful people in this world and I am impressed with His artistry.
Read MoreGet some sweet smelling oil or lotion, and give each other back rubs, foot rubs, or any kind of rubs you’re in the mood for! If you’ve never done this before, it might help to google a couple how-to’s on the best way to give a good massage.But at the end of the day, almost any kind of rub is a good rub. So enjoy feeling close through the gift of touch.
Read MoreThe same day I said “yes” to Ben’s wedding proposal, I began receiving marital advice. The. Same. Day. And I kept getting it all the way through my wedding day. The advice was mostly unsolicited, but I suppose the influx of tips and experiences from both strangers and friends can be expected for life’s bigger milestones.
Read MoreThe loss of self has nothing to do with losing our identity or our personality. It doesn’t mean we ignore our needs, wants, and desires or let go of our goals and dreams. It doesn’t mean we forget our opinions, our beliefs, and our ideas. No, letting go of self means one thing and one thing alone: we choose to lose all that is wrong in exchange for all that is right. Losing our “selves” means we let go of all that God has called us not to be in exchange for all he has called us to be.
Read MoreThe other day I was telling my coworker stories from the early days of my marriage. It was one of those moments that made me realize, Wow—we really did not know the tools for building a successful marriage back then . . . but thank goodness we found them, because where we are now looks nothing like those days! The first and most important question we learned to ask ourselves was this: “Who is my counselor right now—love or fear?” Listening to fear led me to see Ben as an opponent, not a partner.
Read MoreYears of counseling experience have taught me that marriage plans can either be good or bad, depending on the couple’s reasons for getting married. My initial conversations with engaged couples are full of questions designed to help me understand why they have decided to say “I do.” Here are some examples of good reasons and not-so-good reasons for getting married…
Read MorePeople love giving unsolicited marriage advice. Especially when they interact with newlyweds. But the problem is, so much of it is really terrible. Horrible. Bad advice. So bad, that if my husband and I would have actually applied it to our lives, I’m certain we wouldn’t be standing here today. Here are 5 bits of really bad marriage advice…
Read MoreSexual addiction is very complex. There are several underlying issues that contribute to this problem. There are also unique issues that a spouse faces when sexual addiction is suspected and/or revealed. As a spouse of a sex addict, it is imperative that you understand your role in the recovery process. Here are 7 helpful things every spouse should know about sex addiction.
Read MorePornography is a serial killer! It violates your soul, destroys your relationships, and derails your future. Many people who are stuck in porn (and other secret sin) don’t realize the painful effect that it has on their family and children. In 1 Corinthians 7:14, the Bible says that one believing parent sanctifies the home. This truth can work the other way around and a parent can open the door to demonic activity for their whole family.
Read MoreI’m well aware that counseling — specifically marriage counseling — often gets seen as a last resort. We think about marriage counseling when there are major issues like abuse, addictions, abandonment, or infidelity. But what if I told you we needed to start considering counseling 10 steps before those things ever happen?
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