Posts in Identity
Parenting Sexuality: Connection is Key

Biological parents, step parents, grandparents, friends, teachers, coaches, mentors... we all have the same challenge: Our teens need our leadership and guidance through their most volatile season of life, but we'll only be influential in their lives to the degree that they feel safe around us, heard by us, and unconditionally loved by us.

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The Most Common Way Fake Love Disguises Itself & How to Stop It

I’d propose that numerous people have been seduced by things that masquerade as love but are just cheap imitations of the real thing. In fact, I have a growing concern that many within the Church associate God’s love with a version that looks noble on the outside but leads people into deep vortexes of emptiness and bondage.

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5 Ways to Fight for Friendship No Matter the Season

Our friends are blessings (and sometimes seasons) as we mature throughout life. The people that God puts in our lives are meant to bring us closer to Christ by offering compassion, fellowship, humble correction, and forgiveness. If we want to truly maintain and strengthen our friendships, we need to have an open heart and mind on how to love them better as life goes on.

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The Other Side of Loving Like Jesus

When most of us hear or use the words “just love them like Jesus” what we mean is the unconditional love and acceptance of the person irrespective of their behavior…

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Self-Compassion: Making Peace with Yourself in Process

So what does self-compassion look like? It looks like accepting what Jesus says about us and believing that we are worthy of the compassion He so freely gives to others. When we take that on as Truth, we begin to look at and treat ourselves the way Jesus does.

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Don't Live to Get Married. Live to Live.

Here’s the thing: Jesus doesn’t say that “life abundantly” starts when we get married….he says it starts when we enter relationship with Him. For the believer in Christ, life abundantly is happening right here, right now, in this very moment – no matter what your relationship status.

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Common Myths About Purity Culture 📺+ 🎧

Join Debra Fileta who is a licensed professional counselor who is focused on relationships, and an advocate for “healthy people make healthy relationships”. In this podcast Debra, Caitlin and Sloane dive into the common myths about purity culture and break the boxes surrounding them. “It isn’t a toxic purity culture, it’s toxic shame culture. Purity is not toxic, it is the shame, the isolation, the hiding.” Sex is so sacred and is created to be beautiful within the perimeters of marriage. In Debra’s story, shame and guilt didn’t help her break free of sexual sin but the realization that sex is God’s gift and is beautiful in the right place and time. Perspective is empowering, before marriage, but also how it impacts us within a marriage. It is time for all of us to break out of the shame of our histories and step into the fullness God has for us!!!

If you want to hear more from Debra her Instagram handle is @truelovedates

Resources:

True Love Dates by Debra Fileta

Choosing Marriage by Debra Fileta

Love in every season by Debra Fileta

The Naked Truth about Sexuality by Havilah Cunnington

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The Holidays: A Time to Strengthen Connection

When it comes to being a safe place, healthy communication is essential. Refuse to engage in disrespectful conversations. Bravely step into vulnerable conversations where you show the person your heart and invite an exchange of truth. Listen well, seek to understand them, identify what they are needing, and help to meet that need.

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5 Lies That Will Keep You Trapped in Unforgiveness

He told me that I needed to forgive the people who abused me or I would open the door to the tormentors in my life. It wasn’t easy at first but I realized that He had given me the power to forgive when He forgave me. Joyce Meyers said, “Unforgiveness is like drinking deadly poison and thinking the other person’s going to die.”

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Soul Ties 📺+🎧

Tom Crandall and Cole Zick address the reality of what happens when you form an intimate sexual connection outside of marriage, and the strong influence that can have on us and our life choices. How can we become free from shame? What can we do to move past attachments that we have with people from our past that we’re tied to because we’ve had sexual experiences with them?

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How to Thrive This Christmas

Christmas is a beautiful season of giving and spending time with the people we care about, but sometimes it comes with the realization that life did not turn out the way we expected it to. We look around at family or friends or people we’ve known forever, and it’s hard not to compare our life to theirs. It’s hard not to remember where we thought we would end up or how we thought things would be at this point in our life.

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If You Really Knew Me

I believe that shame grows in the dark. We begin to question ourselves, “if they really knew me…. then what?” The things that we believe no one would be able to forgive, look past, or overcome cause so much fear, we choose to hide. As shame grows in the dark it begins to own our thoughts, our identities or we simply bury it so deep we are in denial about it altogether.

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